My Pal Xaveria

Xaviera Hollander--pioneer, visionary, sexual revolutionary.

Xaviera Hollander is, like, a total hero to me.

She's the call girl who wrote "The Happy Hooker," one of the greatest books ever! She really had an impact on me when I first read it.

When I was 12.

Yeah, I know. I know.

Anyway, my parents both worked. And it was summer. And I saw the book on a bookshelf in the den.

"The Happy Hooker."

Oh yeah, I had heard of that book. Back in the '70s and early '80s, Xaveria Hollander was a pretty well-known fixture in popular culture. Not in the same way as the Bay City Rollers, of course.

Heh. Bet you didn't expect a Bay City Rollers reference in this post.

Anyway, it was August. I had completed my two summer school classes and had what remained of the summer off. I had recently discovered an interest in boys (as in, hey, some were pretty cute!). But no way was I going to be dating at 12.

Still, the whole "boys are cute" thing kind of got me interested in certain activities that boys and girls do together. Oh, I knew the whole "birds and the bees" bit. But I never really thought about it until that time.

Anyway, back to that book. I was pretty sure my parents wouldn't want me to read it. Then again, it was out there in the bookcase. But I probably should ask, first. Then again, why should I? I was always encouraged to read, after all.

And the new issue of Tiger Beat wasn't out yet. John Stamos was SOOOOO hot!

Actually, he's better looking now at 47. But that's neither here not there.

I was absolutely fascinated by not only the way she had lived her life, but with the fact that she offered absolutely no apologies.

One afternoon, I was reading this new treasure in my room when I heard my brother say, "Mom and Dad would not be happy that you were reading that." Then he laughed. I knew he wouldn't say anything. We completed trusted each other with keeping our secrets.

"Well, what they don't know, right?"

He laughed again, "Right. Just don't become a hooker, Alex." I laughed and said, "Not till I hit eighteen!" He smiled and said, "You know she has a column in Penthouse, don't you?"

Oh really? I wasn't aware of that. Gotta love big brothers!

An aside here--I wasn't left all alone at home at that age most of the time. My brother was a few years older was usually around, and we had our neighbor next door who'd keep an eye out for me when he was gone. But I was pretty mature for my age and my parents knew I didn't need to be shipped to my aunt and uncle's (the ones I lived with while in college) house when big brother wasn't there.

Anyway, it didn't talk me long to finish up that book.

A couple of nights after finishing it up, I was in bed, but it was one of those nights when I couldn't fall asleep right away. So I started fantasizing about being a high-priced call girl myself.

And soon I found my hand rubbing a certain area through my pajamas. And I also found myself to be breathing a little heavy.

A few times when I was still reading the book, I had my hand down there and had done a little rubbing. But I always stopped before, well, anything happened.

Not this time. What I was doing felt really good, so I got up, stripped out of my pajamas, and crawled back into bed and resumed what I was doing.

I was wet, my nipples were hard, and I was moaning softly. As I felt myself building towards my first orgasm, I fingered my clit faster. Soon--and this is the best way I can describe it--this rush washed over me. My eyes were shut and I was cumming.

After this new sensation had subsided, I just laid there. I knew what had happened. But man, I didn't realize that an orgasm would be so......

.....fucking great and intense.

I got up and put my pajamas on and went and washed my hands. Then I crawled back into bed, very pleased at what had just happened. It was awesome. I could make myself have that feeling whenever I wanted!

And over the next couple of weeks, I DID make myself have that feeling--a lot. It was like this awesome new toy that I couldn't stop playing with. Then one night I was ready to "get my toy out" when I started wondering what it would be like to put something in there (well, having already started receiving "nature's little present", I mean putting something in there for pleasure).

But what? It wasn't like there were a bunch of dildos or vibrators laying around the house. What could simulate a dick? And then it hit me.

And I'm not going to tell you what it was. Well, not right now. That's going to be the subject of my next poll on the front page (husband, you are ineligible to vote! LOL).

So I took the object into the bathroom and put some Vaseline on it. I couldn't believe what I was about to do. But I do know that it really got me hot.

I went back into my room. I stripped down naked again and started fantasizing and feeling out my clit and pussy. When I was ready, I spread my legs and, bracing myself on one arm, slid the object in very, very slowly.

It hurt, but just a little. And as my muscles relaxed, I sped up. Soon I was having an orgasm that rivaled the first in intensity.

Now that was more fun than a 12 year-old (almost 13) should have. I didn't start doing that every night, but I was getting myself off every 2 nights or so with my hand and occasionally with the object (as a treat).

As for Xaveria, her book didn't convince me to go ahead and start doing all this--I did have a mind of my own. But it did convey to me the idea that the female orgasm was a wonderful thing and nothing to feel guilty about.

And not too far down the line, I did something else I didn't feel guilty about either.