And The Winner Is..............

The one object that received absolutely no votes. Yes, the humble carrot.

I did have an empty Coke bottle in my room that night, but it never received serious consideration. That was just too out there, as odd as that may sound.

I did consider a pen. But felt it was just too thin. My goal was to simulate a hard cock. Now, I have used a ball point pen for that purpose. It's quite handy, you can maneuver it around nicely and hey, when you're done, you can just toss it.

Now for the winner of the poll, the hair brush. I wasn't at all surprised that this garnered the most votes. It makes perfect sense. Sleek handle, easy grip with the bristles.

But here's why it wasn't a hair brush. I'm assuming the most--if not all--of the voters were guys. And that would mean that none of the voters were ever a 12 year old girl.

And you know what's sacred to teen (and almost teen) girls? Beauty supplies. Brushes, combs, make-up, all that. I couldn't take any of my beloved brushes and do that to them. It just didn't seem right. I gave it serious consideration, but eventually passed on that.

Okay, so why a carrot?

Well, we had a bag in the crisper. I snuck down and selected one that wasn't too narrow and wasn't too thick. Yeah, this sounds like an X-rated Goldilocks ("This one's too thin. This one's too thick. This one's JUSSSSST right!).

I warmed the carrot up in the microwave for a few seconds, took it upstairs, Vaselined it up and went at it. It was stiff, but not TOO stiff. I was able to choose my desired width. And they had plenty of length, so handling it wouldn't be a problem. I knew I could go as deep as I liked but would still have plenty to hold onto.

Yup. It was a carrot.

You'll have to excuse me now. I just made a salad and want to go down on it.