Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Be Proud, You Were Loud

Yes. It's all his fault.

You were also wrong.

I posted the last entry without actually checking the news. It seems that the mob mentality, led by such deep intellects as Sports Illustrated's what's-his-name, Mike "Politically Correct Ass-Kisser" Greenburg, Mike "I.Q. of 12" Golic and that reptile Jim Rome got their way. Throw in that boob Tony Kornheiser, as well.

Anyway, Joe Paterno announced his retirement today, effective at the end of the season. Of course, that's not good enough for the morally outraged!

Hey, mob, you feel good? Did you get that taste of blood you desired? Did it quench your thirst?

The REAL outrage is the rush to judgement. The REAL outrage is that people are more pissed at Paterno than the guy actually accused of molesting children. The REAL outrage is people aren't railing that Paterno's superiors should be run out.

No, it's all about Paterno. The guy who reported the incident to his superiors.

Note to the mob: Don't cry when YOU don't get a fair shake. Don't cry when YOU don't get more than a few days to deal with a crisis. Don't cry when you don't get any kind of due process. Don't cry when you don't get a shred of the benefit of the doubt.

Don't cry when you're accused of sexual harassment and everybody immediately deems you a pervert. Don't cry when your daughter's friend says you TSA'd her and the neighborhood chases you out of your home, even if you're innocent. Don't cry when you're accused of fudging your expense report and are forced to "retire".

Don't cry. Be happy!

You see, YOUR view of how justice should work is merely being implemented! Sure, it sucks when it's you. But hey, it's always easier to love the kangaroo court when you're not the one in it.

When you had a chance to stand up and say, "Hey, let's slow down just a little bit here!", you didn't. You joined the oh-so-conveniently outraged.

Jerry Seinfeld once said on his show that sometimes the road less taken, is less taken for a reason. Absolutely.

The cowards--yes, cowards--who were screaming for this had no interest in the truth. They wanted a scapegoat and they got him. And there were able to pound their fists to their chests and proclaim what great people they were for feeling this way.

Bullshit.

This isn't about the victims. It never was. If these people cared about the victims, they wouldn't be screaming like jackasses. They'd be advocating finding out all of the facts, not just the facts that fit. They'd want to find out what organizational and communication flaws went on. They'd want to see what could be done to prevent this alleged horror from ever repeating.

That's not what this is about.

No, trust me, Meathead and Man-Girl used Mike & Mike to show off what true morons they are. They succeeded. As did Rome and everyone else. And so did everyone who trembled in arrogance and mock outrage.

Props to J.A. Andande of ESPN who has advocated essentially the same points here: slow down and find out how everything went down. His voice, sadly, wasn't nearly enough.

You reap what you sow. I hope you enjoy living in 1600s Salem.

Congratulations, outraged ones. I'm sure the victims are high-fiving each other now that JoePa will be gone. It's like you turned back time so none of this ever happened! Wow!

Ah, you have truly scaped the goat.


Randomly Random Thoughts.

My views are coming close to catching hubby's. You see, he hasn't posted since the end of July. Now, his entries are a lot more detailed and take much more work than mine. And his blog is much more anthology-based than mine. It's strictly a collection of his experiences.

Still, he's been slacking.

But all this time, his views consistently climb. It's not just feeding off other blogs. I think a ton of people who don't officially follow his blog still come by.

Fair enough.

Last night, I came within three hundred views. It was close....I was going to pass him again. Then somehow, some way.......the next time I checked his page.....he had picked up around three or four hundred more views!

I have no idea how this is happening. He's far too impatient to go to his own blog and hit the refresh button over and over again.

And in a day or two or three, he'll sit his ass down, and finish an entry he's been working on. And his views will shoot up like he injected Cialis into his blog.

This is the blogging equivalent of Promethius--or whoever it was--pushing that fucking rock up a hill only to see it fall back down again and again.

The sad irony? He couldn't care less about his views. Not one bit. And that's what drives me crazy!

If I didn't love him, I'd like beat him up or something.

___________________________________


My newest best friend forever, Svetlana, and I not only share an interest in topics of a sexual nature, but our birthdays are on one and the same day! Yayyyyyyyyyyy!

Uh....she's celebrated fewer than I..... Maybe I should beat up my hubby to make up for my pretend mid-life crisis. That'll learn him!

_________________________________


Okay, Mitzie's royal girlfriend, CG, has--ever since we've known her--insisted that not only do unicorns exist, but that she has every intention of getting one.

Okay, fine. Then a few weeks ago, CG comes in and says to hubby, "If I find a unicorn, I can have one, right?"

"Absolutely."

And CG goes back up to her apartment, happy as always.

Okay, time to talk to the spouse.

"Really? REALLY? They don't exist!"
"Alex, have you ever seen a unicorn?"
"Of course not."
"Then how do you know that they don't exist?"

Okay, THAT'S something CG would say. Oh well. Like everyone else, he adores CG, so hey, if CG can find a unicorn, she can have one.

Then a few days ago, Lori posts the following picture on CG's Facebook page.



The lovely girl on the horse is Charlie Laine, who is a big time porn star. She does only solo and girl-girl scenes. And Charlie is very active on Twitter and posted this.

So........if I were a conspiracy nut.....

Lori calls Charlie. Charlie then gets on a horse with a fake horn on it. Charlie then posts this on Twitter and Lori posts it on FB.

Nah. But if anyone COULD get Charlie in on something like this, it would probably be Lori.



A professional shot of Charlie.

Back in the day, the early nineties, my porn crush was an insanely hot lady named Victoria Paris. Now, my porn crush is devoted to Charlie!

Oh have mercy.

___________________________________


I chatted a few times, quite awhile back, with a guy who was fairly nice. He came here, read the blog and even the Rules of Engagement and PM'd me. Hey, if some guy bothers to read a side-blog as well as the main blog, that's impressive.

So we talked. Pretty nice guy. We chatted once in awhile, but not consistently.

Then he started pushing to meet. I said no. Then again. And he expected not only to meet me, but Lori and Shelly.

To top it off, this was a guy with no profile pic and wouldn't even say what part of the country he lived in or even his first name. Seriously. And yet, I was supposed to meet him.

Yes, I'm going to order these grown women to come over and fuck some guy I met in a fucking chat room. Really?

He said that rules were made to be broken. I said that rules were made to be followed. Then I told him that I was putting him on ignore and that he wasn't welcome at Lexenomics any longer. I can't keep him from visiting, but fuck, if he's reading this, then, well.....

Suck it. And go away. You aren't welcome here. You overstepped your bounds. You knew the rules and decided, hey, they didn't apply to you. They did.

But he did inspire me to create a new side-blog, "I Will Not Meet You."

So if you're a girl, please heed my warning. There are inherent dangers to sleeping around. When your gut says something is wrong, it's because usually something is. That gut feeling is a sixth sense. Your instincts aren't wrong.

Better safe, than sorry. And you know what? Apply this to guys, as well. If you must meet someone off-line, be wary. Be careful. Listen to your gut, not your pussy or dick.

It's not their job to keep you out of trouble. All they care about is getting you laid and some serious orgasms. That's fine. That's their job.

But being safe? That job belongs to your brain and instincts. If you're going to make a mistake, make sure that mistake is in being overly cautious, not the opposite. Cautious will never hurt you; recklessness often will.

______________________________________

Now there's another guy, he's awesome. Dodger fan that lives in Florida. Super-cool guy. I talk to him every few weeks. Major-league handsome, too. I just wanted to give him a shout-out.

________________________________________


Boy, Facebook is addictive. Not to hubby. He has a page, but gets on it like once every ten days. Me? I have to get on it every day. I think I need to enter rehab.

________________________________


Someone emailed hubby. "No way do I believe your blog. All your supposed girlfriends are pretty." Hubby emailed back, "Yeah, I should only fuck ugly women. Is your wife, daughter, sister or mother available?"

Cold, but hilarious!

Hey, if you're going to say something stupid, you're not going to be treated well. Just something to keep in mind on your journey through life. Remember: you're owed nothing and you'll be treated according to how you behave. That simple.

_________________________

Mind putting down your pitchforks and torchs for a sec? I'll be as succinct as possible.

We could wait until all the facts come out in the Joe Paterno controversy or take the stance of this self-righteous know-it-all. But then again, what sports magazine is more politically correct and self-righteous than this once-great-but-now-crappy publication, Sports Illustrated? Don't answer, it's a rhetorical question.

Outside of Don Banks and Peter King, its rubbish.

Now, I could go into protocol and procedure and whether did Paterno do or not do enough, blah, blah, but I won't. All I will say is that protocol and procedure are written for a reason and are to be followed for a reason.

But it's scapegoat time, and before any rationale and reason can enter the discussion, Paterno will be the former coach of Penn State. I'm not saying that Paterno shouldn't go. I'm not saying that he should. But why not wait for everything to settle down just a touch?

Nah. He has to go. Our moral indignation has spoken. And the lynch mob will pat itself on the back that it took action swiftly and decisively.

Oh....one TEENY TINY pesky fact for you in the mob to chew on. The former coaching assistant, Jerry Sandusky, hasn't actually been.....you know.....convicted of a fucking thing. Well, yet. But where's there's smoke there's fire.

Or is there?

There was plenty of smoke during the McMartin preschool scandal in the 1980s. And after years of court action and trials, and lead stories and front page headlines, it turned out to be just that: smoke. Yet when that broke, you would swear that these horrible people had repeatedly molested every child that walked in there or set foot within a two-mile range of the preschool. Didn't quite turn out that way in the end, though.

Ah, but we acted swiftly and decisively then, didn't we? There was smoke! We responded with anger, indignation, revulsion and every other emotion deemed worthy of the event.

That's the part that didn't make the front page.

The McMartins weren't the only ones, either. There have been many people wrongly convicted and sent to prison based upon the testimony of children and court-appointed "experts" wih their own agendas.

But don't let that little inconvenient fact stop you. Don't let the fact that no investigation that probed any of Paterno's action or inaction over the past several years has been conducted slow you down.

All the news that fits, right? Shoot first, ask later. Shooting first and shooting fast always results in a bullseye, right?

One more thing: all this "As a parent, I....." crap? That's bullshit. Anybody of reasonable mind feels child molestation is a horrible thing. I know it's shocking to you parents, but us childless folks don't deem this crime to be anything but horrid.

And if you use it to advance the argument/agenda that Joe Paterno must go right now right this second it can't come fast enough justice must be served if you don't agree you like child abuse you fucking pervert, it's just self-serving. And it's really insulting, to be honest.

Think about it.

Paterno's had a stellar civil and professional record for over sixty years. Read it again. Sixty years. Has that not earned him at least enough benefit of the doubt so that he isn't run off in a whopping 72 hours? Or is everybody so anxious to win the "I'm More Righteous and Indignant Than You" Sweepstakes that six decades of good citizenship is irrelevant?

Nah. It's not like we have to worry about buyer's remorse. You only get that after you give up something of value (money, usually) and end up buying something we didn't want after all. Everybody who slandered and prosecuted the McMartins suffered no remorse. Nobody will here, either.

I can guarantee you this as well: some chucklehead is going to use what I just said as some kind of proof that I'm an apologist for Paterno.

That's just the collateral damage you get when you don't endorse the rush to judgement.

I'm just waiting for Gloria Allred to find a way to weasle her self-serving ass into this.

__________________________




Friday, November 4, 2011

Two REAL Women of Achievment!

So why do I bang so hard on Jamie McCourt?

Simple. Seven years ago, these two morons stole the Dodgers and Jamie proclaimed herself to be the first female CEO in MLB.

Puh-lease!

I could go out and buy X Inc. with money I borrowed (from the people I was buying X Inc. from, no less) and waltz in and proclaim myself the first female CEO of X. Inc. Big whoop.

This isn't to say that Evil Jamie isn't quite intelligent. She went to Georgetown and was a practicing attorney in securities law and international law as well as several other areas. She taught at MIT and UCLA. No, a dope she is not.

She isn't a role model, either. She didn't spend years clawing up some corporate ladder, especially in the sports world. THAT she bought herself.

Kim Ng, on the other hand.....


She used to work for the Dodgers. Smart, smart lady. Yet when it came time to name a general manager for the team--well, one of the many times under the Newscorp/McCourt regimes--she was passed over. Instead of becoming MLB's first female GM, Kim eventually went to work for MLB itself.

Yeah, it's not like spending nine or so years as the team's vice president and assistant GM actually qualified her for the job.

Gee.....you don't think Jamie and her giant ego couldn't handle all the attention Kim would have gotten as MLB's first female GM, do you? Nahhhhhhhhhhh!




Now for a young lady named Sue Falsone.

You probably haven't heard of her. She's the first women to ever become the head trainer for a professional sports team in the United States.

Here's Sue talking about her new position onthe Dodgers' website. Very, very cool.

You'll notice a few things. One, she deftly handles the "female in a man's world" issue without by making it a non-issue. Two, with Sue, it's all about the team and the training staff. Three, she talks about her background without making it an opportunity to glorify herself (in other words, she's humble--something Jamie never was).

So, Jamie, there's the difference between you and Sue and Kim. Those are two women who really DID open doors for other women through hard work and dedication. Sue went out and busted her ass to get this far, and when Kim finally becomes a GM, it'll be for the same reason. You, well, maybe you worked hard in the legal field, but not in sports. You bought your status in sports.

They didn't.

One of these is not like the others......

So part of my dislike (there are so many other reasons to despise her, trust me) of Jamie isn't that she and her ex bought the Dodgers and she made herself the CEO. Big deal. My issue is....hey, look who I am! Look what I did!

Yeah. You bought something with borrowed money and gave yourself a title. Wow. That's never happened before.


Thursday, November 3, 2011

Sorry Jamie, I couldn't resist!

Coco, the sign-language ape, has embraced new technology.

"Ohhh oooo oooo oooo oooo! Me want a banana and an estrogen injection! Oooo oooo oooo oooo ooo!"

Just kidding! What Jamie's really doing is ordering up some more steroids for the World's Most Masculine Woman competition!

Nah Nah Nah Nah.....

Hey hey hey, goodbye.

Goodbye Frank and Jamie. Someday, I hope a safe falls upon your evil heads.

You are scum. You came and treated people like shit. It's nice to see that it's all finally caught up to you.

Oh, I have so much more to say. But right now, I'm just happy that Jamie's gone and will soon be followed by her ex, Frank.

Sigh. First Newscorp, and then this raw sewage. It's been a long decade......


Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Thoughts And Stuff


Yeah, yummy!

The charmer you see above is Ashley. She sent a pic and a short email.

"Too bad you don't travel anymore. I would've LOVED being a Black Book Girl! Love you, love the blog, girl!"

Cool! Why can't my boss be based in Philly? Sighhhhhhhh...... Ash also sent one of her husband. Yeah, baby!

I see that I have some new blog followers! Wooooooohoooooooooooooo! It just goes to show you that with years of sweat, blood, tears, and inconsistent posting you CAN be successful! Welcome newbie lexeconomists!

Programming note. I don't usually pimp television shows, but ESPN runs a series called "30 For 30". Each week, they show a one-hour movie/documentary on a sports related subject.

Well, have you ever seen "Rocky"? Of course! At least you've heard of it. Tomorrow night, ESPN will air "The Real Rocky".

The real Rocky is named Chuck Wepner, a journeyman boxer and liquor salesman who battled big mouthed Muhammed Ali into the fifteenth round in a heavyweight fight way back in the '70s. Should be good!

My friend Svetlana and I are at odds, I hate to say. See, she's a Dolphins fan and wants the first overall pick in the 2012 draft so the Dolphins can draft or trade Andrew Luck.

I love her, but I think this isn't right. See, the RAMS should get the pick and thus the assload of draft picks for Mr. Luck!

Is "assload" one or two words? The auto-correct here says "assload" is incorrect. But I think I should spell "assload" any way I please.

Ass load. Assload. Po-tay-tow, pah-tah-tow.

Anyway, the way figure it, I'm older. And it's been a decade since my darling, beloved Kurt Super-Awesome Warner led the Greatest Show On Turf to the Super Bowl (only to see Dick Vermeil retire and Mike Martz destroy the team like a staph infection).

So I'm going to make that my new poll! Who should win the Suck 4 Luck sweepstakes? The Rams, Dolphins, or Colts? Obviously, the Rams should. Because Sam Bradford needs some serious talent around him!

What my girl Svetlana doesn't know is that I'm secretly slipping PEDs into the coffee of every Dolphin I can find.

:)

But what I'm really annoyed at is the NBA. Basketball is the most awesome sport ever. Being from southern Cal, I can tell you that basketball and the Lakers rule the city. Baseball is a close second. But it's a basketball town.

And my Lakers are NOT in action. This does not please me. My sports attention is totally focused on one team.

The Rams. That and the ongoing saga of a morally and financially bankrupt bastard who is holding the Dodgers hostage. Fuck you, Frank McCourt. LEAVE!

Sorry.

Bwahah. Pulled one on the Nickster today! I was supposed to meet him for a little fun today. BUT.....

Bev wanted some fun. Lori had the day off.......So I sent HER. The cool part was that he didn't know until she got there.

Our usual routine is he'll get a room and call me as I'm driving down and give me the room number. So he called a few minutes before Bev-Bev arrived and told me the number. I then phoned the Red-Headed Menace and left a VM telling her the room number.

She got down there, opened the door and there she was. Funny thing is, he sent an email later and didn't seem upset in the least!

Hmmmmmmm......

Bev says "hey", by the way.

Till next time......


Monday, October 17, 2011

Greetings, Earthlings!


I LOVE it when my female readers send in pics! This beauty is Kathy, from Minnesota! She said she had been a regular reader here for a couple of years and wanted "to contribute a little".

I have NO problem with that! I wish I could contribute some orgasms to her! Thanks Kathy!

I've had a few male readers send in pics--but I'm keeping those for my personal viewing pleasure. LOL

Before we start, I'm actually stark naked here. Hubby and I just had some fun and I took a shower, dried off, and here I am. I've never done an entry naked, so this should be interesting.

So, what's been going on?

Boring answer, but just a lot of assignments. Went up to NYC once (bf Jerry wasn't there, otherwise I would've stayed the night).

My corruption of Bev is coming along nicely. The first step, of course, was to get her to let hubby fuck her. Then she started playing with me and hubby. Then she had several one-on-one sessions with me.

NOW what?

Please! You know the next step! A foursome! That happened a couple of weeks ago. She expressed interest in that, so I told her to pick a chick, any chick, and I'd bring her in.

Well, she couldn't choose between Lori and Shelly. So a fivesome it was. I don't think "fivesome" is really a word, but we try to be innovative here at Lexenomics! Soon, I'm hoping to bring in The Avengers and Janine and really get Bev into a blowout! Maybe Nick too, to help hubby supply the hard stuff.

Anyway, Bev took to the fivesome, big time. I'd love to bring her down to Marietta for a threesome with Nick. But one step at a time.

Oh, Nick.......

Fuggin' bastard!

LOL We're still getting together a couple of times a month. Sometimes I'll go down to Marietta and we'll rent a room. He's in sales and can sneak away for an afternoon at times. Sometimes he makes the drive up here.

Still can't get him to do a MFM with hubby.

People should really do what I want them to! Then again, if hubby doesn't listen to me......who else will?

Back to Bev. I was chatting with her on the phone a few nights ago when she asked if she thought she should start a blog. Bev's had some experiences of her own, especially when she was single, and was kind of eager to share them.

She's going to give it some thought. There's a real risk there, of course. On a purely selfish level, I'd love to read what she has to say.

Yeah, hardly an entry worth waiting for since August, but hey, you got to see an adorable girl, right?


Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Monday Treat!

Yeah, yeah, so technically it's Tuesday......

Okay, I know the next post was supposed to be a continuation of the whole "how psycho Alex lost her virginity" deal.......

But I can't imagine anybody in their right mind objecting to a little break here. These are two pics of my new friend in Louisiana!




Yeah, I didn't think I'd be getting any complaints!

A big thank you to the wonderful Miss M.!


Saturday, August 13, 2011

After The Carrot

So to recap.......I had been masturbatng since I was 12. And baby, I liked it. I liked it A LOT. And I continued to do it. A LOT.

In December, being a curious slut-in-training, I realized that I needed some more fodder for my imagination during my special hand-under-the-covers sessions. A romance novel just wasn't the ticket. And as much as I love Xaviera, you can only read a book so many times. In short, I needed some fresh material.

Of course, my brother had already supplied me with some needed info: Xaviera wrote that column in Penthouse. And I heard about Penthouse Forum as well. I needed to get me a little of that action.

But being 13 at that time, how on earth would I get my grubby little paws on a Penthouse? It wasn't like I could just waltz into the local adult bookstore. Yeah, I could "older" myself up with some makeup, but not that much.

Then it hit me.

My school was very close to home. So close, in fact, that I usually just walked home. Both of my parents worked, so it was easier on them. And on the way home, there was a convenience store I stopped at every day. I'd get a coke and drink it on my way home. And they had Forums, Playboys, Penthouses, all those types of magazines.

Of course, they wouldn't sell them to anyone under 18. That certainly sucked. And I had seen guys try only to get shot down by the clerks. But there was one clerk I thought I might have a shot at. His name was Greg. He was 18, really super-duper cute, and a student at Mt. SAC (Mount San Antonio College), a local junior college.

He was super-nice, too. I'd always flirt--or do something that I thought was flirting--with him. He'd humor me and send me on my way. But he did give me some nice looks whenever I went in, if you know what I mean.

And, by the way, there's nothing wrong with that. I had a nice body and guys are visually-oriented. So I thought it was cool that he'd look at my ass some. Men like to look, girls like to show. That's just how we're all wired, folks. And I had a nice little body at that age.

So I kept going in, waiting for Greg to be working. My plan all depended on him. It had to be him. And there he was, one day not long after I hatched my brilliant plan. I waltzed into the store in my tight, tight jeans. We exchanged hellos and I went to the fountain area to get my Coke. I was fucking nervous. I mean, it's so easy when it's all in you head. But when it comes to actually doing it....eh.....

I took my Coke up to the register. And I decided to just ask for the magazines.

"And a Penthouse and Forum!"

He looked at me and laughed. Not just a little laugh--no, this was a "hey that's a good one!" laugh.

"Yeah, right Alex. Very funny."
"No, I want them. Really."

He had a "what the fuck?" look on his face.

"Well, joke or not, you're not getting them."
"Ah, c'mon Greg! No one will know!"
"Alex, it's illegal for me to sell these to you."

Yeah, that pretty much went as expected.

So I leaned on the counter, put my chin in my hands and gave him the cutsie-pie blinkey-blinkey routine and coupled it with a little vixen smile.

"Nice try. You're a chick. What do you want this stuff for?"
"I like the stories."
"You're only 13!"
"Yeeeeeeeeahhhhhh......I know....but I like them."
"I'm sorry, Alex."
"And I thought you were cool," I teased.

He laughed again.

"Well, I'm not."

I let out a diva sigh. He laughed again. I paid for my Coke and was on my way.

When I got to the door, I looked back and said, "It's okay. You're still cool," and smiled. He laughed and I was on my way.

The next day I stopped in again. Greg was there. Had I an ounce of shame, I might've been at least a little embarrassed. But I wasn't. We talked and joked around for a bit and then he said,"Do you still want those magazines?"

"Oh yeah."
"You promise not to tell anybody where you got them?"
"I promise. But why'd you change your mind?"
"You're pretty responsible. I can take your word. And I don't want you trying to sneak into an adult bookstore or asking a stranger to buy one for you."

"No one will know. My parents will ground me till I'm 30 if they find these."

It's a promise I knew I could keep. I had a sweet hiding place where I could stash ill-gotten goods safely. I paid for the Forum and Penthouse and thanked Greg. I promised him that if I got caught with them, his name would never come up.

Greg had the next day off, so I said, "I'll let you know how I liked them on Thursday!" and left. I went home and paged through the pics in the Penthouse. Penthouse often features pictorials of two women going at it. Sure, it's staged, but still hot. I put my new treasures into my hiding place and went about doing my homework.

Later I would reward myself. I knocked off my homework and worked on a couple of future assignments, just to get a head start on them. Soon, my mom was calling us down for dinner.

After dinner, went back up to my room. I stared at the Penthouse and Forum and decided to do some more schoolwork. I was already pretty far ahead in my studies, but for some reason was apprehensive about actually opening up my new literature.

I read Xaviara's column. Pretty cool. A lot of sex/relationship stuff. Not super hot. But it was an honor to read whatever this great lady had to say.

Then I turned to the Forum section of the magazine. I figured I'd go through those then hit the Forum Digest.

After two letters, my hand was between my legs again. And it didn't take long for me to reach Orgasm Land. And after I finished, a thought came to me: wouldn't this be better with a partner? I mean, if I could do this to myself, what could the real deal do?

But....I didn't have a boyfriend. I was two years younger than most of my classmates. And while that isn't a big deal when you get older, it kind of was then. And to top it off, I really wasn't the most popular kid in school.

Besides, I figured, if I had a boyfriend and fucked him, he might tell his friends. No, that wasn't the safe route to go. I had to figure out another way to get laid.

And I'll pick this up with my next post.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Been Awhile

"You got sumtim' to say?"


I figured that I'd better make an appearance. Hubby's views have started to climb and now he's passed me.

The bastard!

Then again, he actually has been making posts lately, so maybe I should blame myself.

However, the pressure from work actually takes precedence over any pressure to get views. That's just how work goes sometimes, you all know that. Sometimes you're swamped, sometimes you aren't.

Sometimes you feel like a nut....sometimes you don't!

So what's been going on?

Here's an exciting answer--work. LOL Yeah, I know. I won't bore you with the details of what I've actually been working on.

Anyway, several days ago, I downloaded Yahoo! Messenger 11.0. Whenever Yahoo! updates, it reminds me of when AOL used to update its software: a few more bells and whistles, but nothing that really stands out. There are some upgrades, yeah, but I don't use Yahoo! that much to begin with. Still seems to have some of the same old bugs, too.

One thing that would be really nice would be the option to disable that fucking buzzer. I despise that thing. Oh well, whatever.

Anyway, I decided to check out the chats on Yahoo! for the first time in months. I hit a chat room and most of it was pretty much the same. But I did get an IM from a very nice guy. I won't divulge too many details, except that he's a Dodgers fan.

So we chatted quite a bit and he was uber-cool. Now you all know that I cyber an average of once every four years, but we were chatting about sex and I got a little hot. Unbeknownst to him, I started touching myself. Hubby saw what I was doing and came into the room and decided to, uh, give me a helping hand. Needless to say, I came, and it didn't take long.

Then I made my new friend cum. Cute guy, too. ;)

Ahem.

Anyway, Janey's all moved in and has been working her cute Cuban ass off. You'd be surprised at how daunting the prospect of not working for two and a half years is. Actually, you wouldn't. But she's socking away all of her money to live on. The program she's entering is just too intensive to work while attending classes.

Oh, and Mitzie? Well, Michaela (her real name) is just fine. She and her girlfriend have been living in that garage apartment for over two years now. Time really flies. We love having them.

Shelly and Lori are doing fine. They'll be spending the weekend with us. Bev is doing great. She's working so much that we don't get to see her as much as we'd like. '

My boyfriends Nick and Jerry are doing great. I wear them out whenever I get the chance! Trust me, I'm demanding of my boyfriends! But they never complain for some reason!

Okay, just wanted to check in. I'm going to wrap this up and head to bed. I wanted to let everyone know that Lexenomics hasn't been abandoned!

Take care, have a great weekend, and I'll see you soon!


Hubby took this in Florida a few years ago!




Monday, April 11, 2011

A Note To One Person

Kristina, I noticed you cancelled your account on the site where we met. I know you come here, so please keep in touch!

Monday, April 4, 2011

Lexie's List Of Pick-Up Rules

"Duh!"

Just some rules I followed over the years when I used to meet people in bars for a little fun.

1. If someone absolutely, positively, insists on going back to their place, bow out. If someone won't go to Motel 6, even if you offer to pay for the whole thing, something could be wrong. Why does someone HAVE to go back to their place? I get them not wanting to go to yours, but a neutral site shouldn't bother them. I'm not saying not to go to someone's place if you trust your gut, but if they absolutely insist on this, something's a little off, especially if their reason doesn't sound legit.

2. If they're high, say bye-bye. People on drugs aren't safe. Hands down, no exceptions. Well, pot, maybe. I don't really consider that a hard drug. But I still wouldn't go home with Toked-up Toni. Listen, I'm pro-legalizing Mary Jane. I don't mind people toking some at home. But if you can't stay sober before you go out, then don't bother me.

3. Keep an eye on how they treat bartenders and waitresses. Sure, that person will be on their best behavior with you, but if they treat servers like garbage, you'll probably be getting that treatment later on.

4. Trust you gut! Listen to your instincts!

5. Talk awhile. Get to know the person. Keep an ear open for inconsistencies in what they say.

6. Avoid haters. I have always detested chauvinists, and it doesn't matter if they're female or male. There are as many female chauvinist pigs out there as male chauvinistic pigs, even if our stupid society of political correctness doesn't acknowledge that.

7. Slobbering drunks need not apply. Drunk people lack judgement. Sorry.

8. Don't drink too much yourself. Nothing's worse than losing your ability to make sound decisions.

9. Any guy that doesn't agree to use condoms can get lost. I really didn't troll the bars for guys that much due to STD concerns, but when I did, if he wasn't pro-condom, I was anti-him. For guys, avoid any woman who doesn't feel the way I do. Odds are, people who hate condoms really don't use them too much. I'm not really a huge fan, either. But if you're going to fuck a stranger, then you'd best take all precautions.

10. Be extremely sensitive to your environment. I had a HOT-HOT-HOT-HOT woman hit on me once. But I had seen her hanging around a couple of guys earlier that night. And it wasn't just a "hey, hi guys" deal. She'd go back and forth quite a bit. After I said no thanks, she went to the end of the bar to hit on another girl. I managed to catch the girl's eye and subtly shook my head and gave a little look to the back with my eyes to warn her. She passed as well. Eventually, the girl and two guys left together.

11. Women, take a self-defense course! Learn how to defend yourselves!

12. Guys, take a self-defense course! Learn how to defend yourselves!

13. It never hurts to have a Mace-in-hole! Or pepper spray!

14. Never leave your drink unattended until you feel safe with the person you're with. This goes for both men and women.

15. Avoid the feeling of obligation. If somebody buys you a drink and you chat with them awhile and decide not to take things further, just politely decline. If that person offered you a drink and spent their time chatting with you, it wasn't out of the goodness of their heart. As long as you didn't lead that person on, don't feel guilty about not sealing the deal.

16. Remember, you're a free agent. Picking up someone for a one-night stand is the epitome of selfishness. And that's not a bad thing at all. But you're not there to find your soul mate, your new best friend or anything like that. You're going there to get laid. And that's why a lot of other people are there, too.

17. Always be cognizant of the fact that there are always risks in doing something like this. In a perfect world, we wouldn't have to worry about things like rape, robbery, kidnapping and various other atrocities that can befall us. But this isn't a perfect world and the more you realize this going in, the better off you'll be.

What I'd love is for anybody who has a suggestion for the list to leave it in the comments section or email it to me and I'll add it to the list. And if I think of more, I'll add them as well.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Happy Friday!

And, kiddies, this is why we don't take drugs!

Okay, well technically it's now Saturday.

Went down to Marietta today for about two hours. Nick called and was able to sneak away from his job for a couple of hours. We checked into a close-by motel and went at it. I went back home a happy, happy woman! LOL

I always love the expressions on the desk clerks' faces in situations like that! You check in and two hours later check out. The kid at the desk gave me a once-over that boosted me ego! As we left, I turned and winked at the kid. LOL He just laughed.

He likey-likey older women!

Don't cry for hubby. Our beloved Bev was over today. Honestly, it was a tough choice. One-on-one with Nick or a threesome with hubby and Bev. While we don't get to see Bev nearly as much as we'd like, meetings with Nick are even harder to come by, so I made the drive.

"Harder to come by." Wow! A double double-entendre! You get it all here at Lexenomics, folks!

Anyway, hubby had an absolute blast with Bev. That's probably a statement that really didn't need to be stated, I guess.

Janey's all moved in! Yeah for Janey, and yay for us! I have mentioned how much we adore her, haven't I? LOL She loves her living space and I know it'll be perfect for her over the next couple of years.

And yes, Janey, hubby and I have had some fun since she moved in. The girl's as crazed as I am. LOL

She'll be putting in the hours over the next several months, that's for sure (work, not in bed, though.....). School starts in September and she'll be working for a nurse registry that has promised her a lot of hours.

Anyway, the other day I decided that I wanted a little break from work, so I wandered over to my hubby's blog. I was feeling particularly snarky that day and wanted to make a comment letting him know that I had broken the 10,000 views mark.

I had a shock. No, he hadn't broken that, but he had surpassed 8,000 views. Holy cow, he's catching up! Our blog views have been a running joke between us since I started mine up. I bet he's gonna catch me, too. If he does, your favorite psycho blonde will never hear the end of it!

I'm playing dirty though. Notice how I didn't link up when I mentioned his blog? All's fair!

Sorrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyy honeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! LOL

Remember me talking about Jilly awhile back, and how she finally found a new girlfriend? Well, she's still seeing her!

That's a good thing. A part of me--a little part--is a bit bummed that Jilly hasn't brought up the possibility of us rocking and rolling again sometime. The rest of me is happy beyond belief that she hasn't and hopes that she doesn't.

But I am happy for her. Her hubby's cool with it (I love him--great guy) and when she and her friend have the time, they enjoy it.

Okay, I'm out. Hubby's, ahem, recovered from his little playdate with Bev, and I'm gonna take advantage of it! Maybe he's got some tiger blood going on tonight!

Bringgggggggggg it!

Take care and thanks for reading!

Thursday, March 10, 2011

And The Winner Is..............



The one object that received absolutely no votes. Yes, the humble carrot.

I did have an empty Coke bottle in my room that night, but it never received serious consideration. That was just too out there, as odd as that may sound.

I did consider a pen. But felt it was just too thin. My goal was to simulate a hard cock. Now, I have used a ball point pen for that purpose. It's quite handy, you can maneuver it around nicely and hey, when you're done, you can just toss it.

Now for the winner of the poll, the hair brush. I wasn't at all surprised that this garnered the most votes. It makes perfect sense. Sleek handle, easy grip with the bristles.

But here's why it wasn't a hair brush. I'm assuming the most--if not all--of the voters were guys. And that would mean that none of the voters were ever a 12 year old girl.

And you know what's sacred to teen (and almost teen) girls? Beauty supplies. Brushes, combs, make-up, all that. I couldn't take any of my beloved brushes and do that to them. It just didn't seem right. I gave it serious consideration, but eventually passed on that.

Okay, so why a carrot?

Well, we had a bag in the crisper. I snuck down and selected one that wasn't too narrow and wasn't too thick. Yeah, this sounds like an X-rated Goldilocks ("This one's too thin. This one's too thick. This one's JUSSSSST right!).

I warmed the carrot up in the microwave for a few seconds, took it upstairs, Vaselined it up and went at it. It was stiff, but not TOO stiff. I was able to choose my desired width. And they had plenty of length, so handling it wouldn't be a problem. I knew I could go as deep as I liked but would still have plenty to hold onto.

Yup. It was a carrot.

You'll have to excuse me now. I just made a salad and want to go down on it.