Sunday, February 7, 2010

Time For Another Entry


If I look confused, it's only because someone asked me to add 2 + 2.
This was taken a couple of years ago, on my last business trip to Spain.  I loved that country!  The people, the food, the tradition, the countryside, architecture, everything!  Of course, I rarely got to travel there.  Don't that figure?  LOL 

NOT yay for me!

The pic was taken by a sweetie named Ariana, who was the manager for the client's office I was auditing/evaluating (which is a fancy way of saying I gave the office a refresher course!)  Ariana took it upon herself to be my official guide for that week.  LOL  What a doll.  And no....she wasn't a Black Book Girl!

Remember, never mix business with pleasure!

Anyway, we were at dinner one night and she was asking if I was married, all that.  I told her I was.  She looked at me and said, "He loves you a lot, no?"  Her accent was adorable!  And I told that he did love me.  Then she sighed.  "I haven't found a boy who loves me alot."  This girl was insanely pretty and I was shocked that guys weren't lined up around the block just to ask her out.  I smiled and told her to give it time, that she would.

We kept in touch after that trip, on and off.  Emails here and there.  About a year after we met, she took another job.  It was a nice step up for her in position and salary.  She's still there and very happy.

Anyway, last week, she called me up.  "You were right, Alexandra!  You were right!"  I asked her what I was right about.  Since I'm right about everything, I needed her to be more specific!    "I DID find a boy who loves me!  He asked me to marry him!" 

I was always amazed that a 27 year-old girl would want to spend her free time keeping some weird blond from the U.S. company every night for dinner.  But she did.  I think she thought I was nervous to be in a foreign country by myself.  I had to  

Not gonna let two months pass us by again!  Like I said in my last entry, that was simply inexcusable! 

Soooooooooooooo....what's new?

Explain this to me:  hubby screws around in high school, so-so student.  Screws around in college; so-so student.  Then after getting a Bachelor's degree in communications, decides that he doesn't want to go into journalism.  So he enrolls at La Verne and gets some paralegal training.  A year and a half later, he has another degree, this time in Legal Studies.

Along the course of several months, he takes legal assignments and eventually opens his own free-lance paralegal service.  He has sex with co-workers and clients along the way, and within a year is able to pick and choose whatever assignment he deigns worthy of his genius.  He does so well he decides that becoming a lawyer would not be good, because, and I quote, "Lawyers suck."

He's always worked his own hours, dragged his ass out of bed to work whenever he felt like it, tormented attorneys who have given him business, and taken time off whenever he's wanted to.

And since the first day I've known him, he's had attorneys begging for his services.
Oh, and you want to know why he majored in Communications at Cal Poly?  Because, and I quote, "It was the easiest subject to get a degree in."

Okay.  Me?  Graduate high school at 16.  Get my BA and MA by the time I'm 21.  Start interning at Acme when I'm 16, and then start working part-time there when I'm 18 and full-time when I'm 20.  Bust my ass, rarely miss days.  Never mix business with pleasure.  Do anything and everything asked of me. 

And now.....we're pretty much in the same place career-wise.  Scratch that.  He's actually doing better!   Could somebody explain this shit to me?  Seriously?  His practice is built up to the point where he gets serious scratch for his services.  Me, I'm just kinda starting out in this consulting deal, taking what Brenda assigns me.

I'm not complaining.  I love the new gig.  But fuck, I'm kinda thinking that my hubby's a lot smarter than I've ever given him credit for.  That or he's luckier than a four-leaf clover.

Probably a combination of both.

Enough of HIM!  Let's move on!

Oh, and Acme?  Some of the diddly-duds that remain there asked if I wanted to do some contract work for them.  Let me get this straight:  you bought all my stock, paid me all that severance pay, cashed out my remaining vacation pay, all that....

So I could do some work on the side for you?  Just when I thought I was free...YOU PULL ME BACK IN!

What the fuck.....why not?  If they wanna pay me straight-up, then I'm cool with that!  I could squeeze them in between my work from Brenda.  It's pretty simple stuff and only a few hours a week.  Why not?  I love sex, but have a healthy respect for money.  Money buys me clothes.  I like clothes.

At first, I really didn't want to do it.  It was all a bit too soon after leaving Acme.  I may make fun of my old job title, but it was still pretty cool.  Going from Associate Vice-President to......contract worker.....ehhhhhhh......

Yeah, yeah.  I have an ego.  I admit it.

Hubby just groaned.  "You pretentious bitch," he said.  Then he hit me with an empty Pabst Blue Ribbon bottle, rendering me with temporary amnesia.  I then wandered around downtown Atlanta, looking for stripper jobs.  I was hired at Go-Go-A-Pussy, where I gave lap dances for twenty a pop.  It was a long month, I tell you.

I sure made that motorcycle gang happy, I tell you.

Okay, none of that happened.  What he DID say was, "Get used to that.  You're a consultant now.  Freelancer.  Hired gun.  Get over the whole title thing.  And get naked."

Ugh.  Don't mind the "consultant" label.  It's got some juice to it.  But that "freelance" word....meh.  I've always had that corporate paycheck to lean on.  And even though Brenda gets me some serious work, it's a little weird.  Hubby says it's the best of both worlds.  I get the steady work a company would give me, but have the flexibility of a self-employed person.

The hired gun reference....kinda cool.  I totally would've rocked the wild west.  I would've been a pistol-packing mama.  Woulda been the first chick sheriff in history, taken care of Miss Lori's saloon and brothel, and kept Dodge City clean. 

Miss Mitzie and Miss Kellie would've run the town's hotel.  Miss Shelly would've been the town vet (Dr. Shelly, Animal Medicine Woman), and my hubby would, well, probably been beaten up by the other men in town for letting us get so much control.

Speaking of my father, which, of course, I wasn't, he just retired.  Mom's still a vet, but will turning more and more of the practice over to her partner in the next year or two.  Watch out, Texas.....Dad's gonna be on the loose!  LOL 

I'd like to add that I still think I'm a fucking rock star.  But in a more humble way.  I just play bass instead of lead guitar.

I should really just open up my own bidness....call it Sexy Lexie's Ulitmate Training (SLUT).

As hubby likes to say about himself, "I'm funny."

Let's talk about another man....little, pathetic man.....not worthy of women like Lori and mahself.....

Fuck you, Nick.  Pussy.  Needing some down time.  Worried about your wife getting suspicious!  Pussy!  Can't handle REAL women like me and Lori?
LOL  Yeah, he called me a couple days ago.  Just needed some away time from me and Miss Lori.  Of course, I busted his ass about it for several minutes.   Heeheehhehehehe. 

We love you, Nick!  And since it was mostly Lori and I who were molesting your nice, hard cock.....I guess we're to blame.....just us....sniff sniff.....it's all our fault....

It's tough being a bisexual sex diva.  It really is.

Actually, the reason he needs a little time away is more about family obligations (I was joking about the wife getting suspicious).  Those, of course, take precedence over any adult fun.  Won't be too long, I hope.  I also think he needs a little "guilt time". 

Sigh.....what is there to feel guilty about?  So he has two little sex nymphs on the side?  So what?  And yes, Lori and I double-teamed him a few times.  But don't try this at home:  we're experts.

Nick comes here....he knows we love to tease him.  And he DOES manage to email his two bitches to make sure we are properly attended to!  Even while he's away, he must maintain us high-maintenance chicks by telling us how wonderful we are and how he truly adores us.  It'd be nice if he bought us two high-end sports cars, but he refuses to. 

I'll tell you this:  Lori's ass alone warrants a Mustang convertable! 

As for Nick, personally, I think a little fucky-wucky on the side can actually help a marriage.  I'm sure it helped Nick's.  He was happier.  That meant she had a happy hubby.  Whole happier home. 

I think hubby and I coulda done the whole monogamy thing.  And one day, we just might.  And we'd still be together, either way.

Especially now.  I need him to help me figure out all the ins and outs of this "hired gun" stuff.  I mean, I gotta balance the freelance stuff with Brenda, who's technically my employer.  It's all such a clusterfuck. 

So Tiger Woods is in a sex addiction clinic?  Are you fucking kidding me?  I know this is usually Bucaneer Lori territory--being sports and all--, but I feel compelled to comment.

HAHAHAHAHHAHA!  BULLSHIT!  You got caught, Tiger, baby!  Dude, if Elin wasn't down with all this shit, why did you even bother to get married?  I mean, shit, a little bit here and there, I get that.  But a famous dude like you tapping 20 or whatever women.....are you nuts?

All you had to do was stay single and bang all the girls you wanted!  Dumbass!  Hey, at lease hubby and I are HONEST about what we do!  Either you or Elin's full of shit, and I think it's YOU.

One more thing:  I hope your kid enjoys all that future embarrassment.

Ah, but you have an "illness"?  Get hooked on drugs, it's an illness.  Eat too much?  Illness!  Get hooked on crack?  Illness!  Go to rehab and you're cured!  Uh huh.  Four weeks, and good as new.  Righhhhhhhhhht.

We've bastardized that word.  Habits and addictions aren't illnesses.  Bad choices are bad choices.  Don't dress up stupidity by throwing that word over it.  Don't put perfume on a pig.  We've become a pissy, bedwetting society that likes to excuse dumb choices by looking for excuses. 

Whatever happened to just saying, "I fucked up?"  Whatever happened to just copping to something; to owning it?  I remember a time when people's weaknesses, be it stealing, cheating, getting high, whatever, weren't blamed on "society".

There's no cure for stupid, folks.  And Tiger is gonna find out that more and more people agree with me than with whatever bullshit he spits out when he finally grows a pair and talks about his hypocritical lifestyle versus his good-guy image.  I'd have a ton more respect for this asshole had he just come out and addressed this like a man instead of hiding.

No, he wanted his privacy respected.  Fuck you, little man.   You made millions upon millions in endorsements on your image.  You whored that image out for money.  I'm cool with that.  I woulda done the same thing.  You woulda been stupid not to.  But you don't get to cry about privacy when you're one of the most famous athletes in the fucking world. 

You don't get to cry about privacy when you acted in a reckless and foolish way.  Sorry, you don't get it both ways.  You enjoy the finest of everything due to your fame.  Nobody forced you to go out and fuck around.  Yeah, hubby and I play, but we don't LIE ABOUT IT!  And, genius, we ain't famous.

You?  You run away to some stupid clinic.  Yeah, we all believe none of this was your fault.  You have an "illness".  You couldn't help yourself.  You're "sick".

LMAO Okay, baby.  Nobody's buying it.

I watched a CSI Miami marathon on A&E earlier.  I love CSI Miami!  Digging on Natalia and Calleigh!  They could dust me for fingerprints anytime they wanted!  Yeah!  Now I'm watching House on Bravo.  House rocks.  I dig that Cuddy--she's mondo hot!

Anyway, the more I get to know Ashley A-Bomb, the more I just love her!  Ashley is the girl Leslie and Didi brought with them a couple months ago when we had that big get-together.  Here's a few pics of this cutie-puss!











I'm working on my entry on how I met J-Press, but I'll post a few of her, since I'm already posting.  Besides, pics of A-Bomb Ash and Janine?  How can you go wrong?