Career Update

Getting ready to catch a flight to Seattle in 1995 from Ontario International Airport.

Well, now that I've exposed myself as a total 'ho, I should probably talk about what the fuck's going on in my professional life.

I would've been the official 'ho of Alpharetta, had I not lost the competition to Lori. But she did let me know that as 1st runner up, I will take over should she be ever be unable to fulfill all of her obligations. So I guess that's kind of an honor.

Really, I thought I had the title locked up. Then came the question and answer section of the competition. I really blew it. I don't know what happened. I could describe it to you, but it's just easier to show you the video of my shame.

I know. I choked. Fucking pissed me off, too. I think Lori also used steroids to win, but she refuses to be tested.

So, as you know, I'm--for now--one of those pain in the ass executives everyone accuses of never doing any real work. Actually, my job title has "assistant vice-president" in it.

Big deal.

You ever see Married With Children? There's a scene where Marcy tells Al that the bank is cutting down on employees. Al responds that he hopes that none of the hundred vice-presidents are fired and instead get rid of one of those two pesky tellers.

Anyway, last year, our big company was bought by a bigger company. At that point, it got a little dicey. They wanted my back on the road. My reward would be a decrease in pay and my old title. I told them that I was quitting instead.

I had received a job offer from a company and was set to head back up to Cleveland. Less pay as well, but the job was really tempting. I would've been able to get my hands back into actually designing training programs, which I had started to miss. But it didn't happen.

Apparently, the new boss (not the same as the old boss) didn't want me to leave I wasn't the only one who basically told them to fuck off. I had been there over 20 years and wasn't going to put up with that shit. So some restructuring was done with me and a few others.

I ended up with a slight pay decrease, but stayed off the road and kept my position. I took on a few more duties, but all was cool. And that's how it stayed for the past year.

But more and more people started leaving. They saw the writing on the wall. Our company had been bought with the express purpose of selling it off in pieces parts. That's just what happens when one competitor buys out another. And I knew it would happen. But being flexible bought me some time.

A few weeks ago, I was approached about leaving. They wanted to nudge the top-heavy folks out, as well as many others. Business was down and they figured the less expenses the better as they tried to find a buyer for our division.

Hmmmmmmmm....take the money and run or try and wring another year of employment from these people.....

They came up with a sweet package. A fucking ton of severance pay (hey, 22 years adds up!) and they offered to by back all my stock. Fine by me. I was happy to fatten our IRA with the proceeds. I had accumulated a lot of stock as bonuses over the years (which shows you the true value of dog shit) and jumped to finally cash that crap in.

I'm really fighting the urge to go off on a tangent about my true feelings about 401k plans, the stock market, and stock in general. Suffice it to say, none of it's positive.

Of course, when the company's sold, the toilet paper's value will shoot through the roof. Or burn like a bonfire. Not my problem. When in doubt, take the surest thing. Fuck, even when you're NOT in doubt, take the surest thing.

So they drew up an agreement and I took it home for hubby to go over. He's not a lawyer, but he's certainly an expert, especially with contracts. Everything looked good and I signed the bye-bye papers (after rubbing them on my ass for a few minutes).

I did, however, insist on staying a few more weeks to finish up a couple of pet projects and to use up my personal days (that or lose them).

I already have another gig lined up. Over the past few years, a lady from a New York consulting firm, Brenda, has been trying to get me to come join their team. After deciding to accept Acme's offer, I gave her a call. She was happy that I called and we arranged for me to come up and meet with her.

Very cool. Flew up in the AM and was back for dinner. The meeting went great. The money's good and I'll get back to my first love, designing and implementing training programs. The company has some pretty high-profile clients, so that excites me as well.

But what really excited me was that now, like my hubby, I can do most of my work from home! Yeah! There, of course, will be some travel. But it won't be overbearing like it was for so long. Also, Brenda promised me some projects in other areas (economic research, etc..).

Full benefits. I loved that.

Anyway, I went "office shopping" in my own house! Woohoo! Lessee....hubby's room is taken (bastard took the best view)....there's Lori and Shelly's room.....ah, I'll take....the room with the second-best view! So the day after my NY jaunt, hubby and I painted the room and set up my new computer system, desk (er, not in that order) and put some pretty pictures that would stimulate my pointy blonde head. Very cool.

So I'll be done with Acme in a couple of weeks. It's a new challenge and I can get away from all that administrative crap. And when I go into the office, you can almost see the tumbleweeds blowing through. I really think Acme's new owners have their heads up their asses. it's one thing to cut costs, but they're going to lose a ton of clients, and that'll make the company less valuable. But what do I know?

I do know that we're okay, financially. I know that hubby's business is thriving. I know that our house is paid off. I know that I can do without the headaches. I know that as hard as I worked to get to where I was, in the end, it wasn't where I wanted to be after all. I know that I can't wait to get my hands back in the nuts and bolts of T&D. I know that my hubby was right when we first met and he told me not to plan on being with Acme until I retired (although at the time, I didn't believe him). And I know that after 22 years of being with this company, I'm not all that sad to go.

And really, that in and of itself, is the saddest thing of all.